Tuesday, July 26, 2011

Happiness Model .. :-)

The Happiness Model was developed by Harvard professor, Dr. Tal Ben-Shahar, and published in his book, "Happier."
The Happiness Model defines four happiness archetypes. These are:
1. Nihilism – Nihilists are people who have given up hope of finding meaning in life. Nihilists don't enjoy any present happiness, nor do they have any sense of purpose or hope for the future. As a result, they're "resigned to their fate."
2. Hedonism - Hedonists live for the moment. They pursue pleasure and an easy life, and give little or no thought to future consequences and plans. They may think that "working hard" is painful and tedious, and may avoid this.
3. Rat Racing - The Rat Race archetype often sacrifices current pleasures and benefits in anticipation of some future reward. This archetype is likely the most familiar to many of us. Here, people constantly pursue goals that they think will make them happy. When those goals are achieved, however, a new goal (and the accompanying stress and anxiety) almost immediately takes its place. While Rat Racers may experience brief flashes of satisfaction when they achieve goals, any thought of present happiness is then quickly pushed to the side.
4. Happiness - True happiness is achieved when there is a perfect balance between present pleasure and future benefits.
According to Ben-Shahar, we achieve happiness when we're able to enjoy both the journey and the destination that we're moving towards. We've learned how to set goals that are meaningful, but we don't focus exclusively on achieving them at the expense of everything else. We focus on today's pleasures, as well as on our dreams and goals.
We can use the Happiness Model to shed light on the life we're living now, and the life that we wish we were living. The power to change always lies within us J

Using the ModelDr. Ben-Shahar says that it's impossible for us to feel constantly happy, all of the time. Sometimes, we do have to put off present happiness for important future gains; for instance, when we have to stay late at work to finish an important project.It's also sometimes important to focus on present pleasures, as a hedonist does. For instance, lying on the beach or watching TV can not only rest and rejuvenate us, but these pleasurable activities can also bring happiness into our life.The point, however, is to spend as much time as possible engaged in activities that give us both present and future benefits.What's most useful about the Happiness Model is that it can be used as a window into our life. For instance, look at the four quadrants. Where do you spend the majority of your time? Are you living a Rat Race life, pursuing future goals at the expense of your present happiness? Or are you living more as a Hedonist, avoiding challenging goals in order to pursue daily pleasures, with no thought to future growth or development?Or, do you feel that you've achieved happiness? Are you taking pleasure in today, as well as focusing your efforts on pursuing longer-term goals?We can use the Happiness Model to assess where we are in our current life. If we're not in the right quadrant of the model, we can start today making changes that will create more balance in our life.

Not worrying too much about the problem is the first step to solve it

A chemistry professor decided to teach his students a different lesson one day.
Holding a glass of water in his hand, he asked the students, “How much do you think this glass of water weighs?”
“500 grams!” came a voice from the back. “600,” said another student.
“I don’t really know!” said the professor, holding the glass up to make sure everyone could see it. “And unless we weigh it, we won’t know.” With the glass still in his outstretched hand, the professor continued, “What will happen if I hold it like this for a few minutes?”
“Nothing!” came the reply.
“Right, and if I hold it for an hour like this, what might happen?”
“Your hand will begin to hurt,” said a student.
“Indeed. And what would happen if I held the glass in my hand like this for 24 hours?”
“You would be in tremendous pain,” said one student. “Your hand will probably go numb,” said another. “Your arm will be paralyzed and we’ll need to rush you to the hospital!” said a student on the last bench.
“True,” said the professor. “But notice that through all this, the weight of the glass did not change. What then causes the pain?”
The class went quiet. The students seemed puzzled.“What should I do to avoid the pain?” asked the professor.
“Put the glass down!” said a student.
“Well said!” exclaimed the professor. And that’s a lesson I want you to remember.
“The problems and worries in life are like that glass of water. Think about them for a while and nothing happens. But think about it a bit longer and they begin to hurt. And if you think about them all day long, you will feel paralyzed – incapable of doing anything. It’s important to remember to let go of your problems. Remember to put the glass down!”
We may not have been in that classroom that day, but it’s a lesson we would all do well to remember. Put the glass down! Always. It’s not just problems and worries. Sometimes, we feel hurt and betrayed by a friend. And we carry that grudge through our lives. It grows and causes us anguish and pain. Learning to forgive – and forget – is not just good for the other people, it’s great for you. Nelson Mandela spent 27 years in jail and when he was finally freed, you can understand how angry and vengeful he must have felt. But guess what? When he became President, he invited his jailers to be present at the inauguration – in the VIP seats! If he could forgive after 27 years of suffering, surely we can too.
It is the same with our fears too. A failure or an incident in early childhood becomes a deeply entrenched fear over time. Fear of public speaking, fear of Math, fear of rejection. You name it, and chances are, we have it. Someone gave us that glass to hold when we were little kids – ‘you are clumsy, you are no good, you can’t do it’ - and we have faithfully held on to it all our lives. ‘I can’t’ - becomes a thought that stays in our mind and grows – leading us to complete paralysis. Time to put the glass down!
The story goes that there was a hardworking man who lived a contented life with his wife and children. Every evening when he returned from work, he’d follow a ritual. Outside the door to his house were three nails. On the first one, he’d put his hat. On the second he’d hang his coat. And on the third nail, he’d unwrap an imaginary turban from his head and ‘put’ it there. A friend happened to see this and enquired what he was putting on the third nail every day.
“Those are my problems, my worries and my anger,” said the man. “I have lots of that at work, but when I come home, I remember to take it off – and leave them outside. I don’t take them home with me.” Maybe you should learn to do that too. Starting today. Put the glass down. And see the difference!
Article by: Prakash Iyer (MD, Kimberly-Clark Lever and Executive Coach)

In India - Common lines after getting drunk

1 . Tu to Mera bhai hai . . . bhai !!!

2 . You know i am not drunk . . .

3 . Gaadi mein Chalaunga . . .

5 . Tu bura mat maann bhai . . .

6 . Mai teri Dil Se Izzat Karta hu . . .

7 . Abe bol daal aaj usko, aar yaa paar . . . .

8 . Aaj saali Chad nahi rahi hai kya baat hai??

9 . Tu Kya samajh raha hai mujhe chad gayi hai . . .

10 . Ye mat samajh ki peeke bol raha hu . . .

11 . Abe yaar kahin kam to nahi padegi itnee . . .

12 . Chhote, Ek Ek Chhota aur ho Jae . . . lovely waala !!!

13 . Baap ko mat Sikhao . . .

14 . Yaar magar tune mera dil tod diya . . .

15 . Kuchh bhi hai par saala Bhai hai Apna . . .

16 . Tu Bolna Bhai, kya chahiye . . . Jaan chahiye hazir hai ???

17 . Abe mere ko aaj tak nahi Chadee . . . shart laga saala aaj tu . .

18 . Chal teri baat karata hoon usse, phone number de uska . . .

19 . Saale teri bhabhie hai wo . . . bhabie ki nazar se dekh usko . . .

20 . Yaar tu samjha kar . . wo tere layak nahi hai . . .

21 . chal bhai tu kah raha hai to tere liye chodh diya usko . . aaj se wo teri . . . bana issi baat par ek - ek aur peg !!!

22 . Tujhe kya lagta hai chadh gayi hai . . . abhi ek full aur khatam kar sakta hun . . .

and the best one . . .

23 . Yaar aaj uski bahut yaad aa rahi hai

And Finally . . .

Salla . . . aaj se daru band . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . !!!

Excel Tricks for You to Discover Some Excel 2003 Functionality

1.) Hiding Duplicate Records As Easy As 1-2-3!
One of the most common mistakes users make in preparing a report or sorting data is including duplicate entries. A built-in filter in Excel will take care of this problem. Follow these steps:
· From the Data menu, point to Filter and click Advanced Filter.
· Drag across the worksheet to select/highlight the lists containing duplicate entries.
· Check Unique records only option.
· Click OK.
Excel will now hide any duplicate records in the selected range.
2.) Saving time with Custom Views
Custom Views is a tool in Excel that lets you assign a name to a particular sheet layout so you can recall it for later viewing. Making good use of custom views can save a great deal of time. For example, you can eliminate repetitive hiding, resizing, filtering, and other changes for producing various printed reports. Each set of options can be saved as a view. Then, all you need to do is apply the view before you print.
To access the feature:
· From the View menu, click Custom Views.
· From the Custom Views dialog box displayed, you'll see a listing of saved views, and you can add or delete views.
When adding a view, you have the option of including print settings, hidden rows and columns, and filter settings. The new view even remembers where the active cell was when the view was saved, so when you open that view, it will "jump" to the spot in your sheet that corresponds to that view.
3.) How About Those Functions that Exceed the 30-argument limit?
Excel has a 30-argument limit for statistical functions. It's easy to get around, though, if you group some of your arguments within parentheses.
Instead of entering AVG(A1,A2,A3…,A33), you can enter AVG((A1,A2,A3)A4…,A33), and Excel will accept the grouped arguments as a single argument within the formula.
4.) Why Conditional Formatting?
Conditional formatting refers to the ability to format a cell based on the contents of the cells. Conditional formatting makes it easy to highlight certain values so that they stand out visually. For example, you may set up conditional formatting so that if a formula returns a negative value, the cell background displays yellow, etc.
The best part is that conditional formatting is easy to set up. Just click the cells you'd like to format and select Format Conditional Formatting. The Conditional Formatting dialog box lets you set up the conditions by which the formatting of the cell will occur. You pick the operator (between, equal to, less than, etc.) and the value or range of values. Click Format to open the Format Cells dialog box, where you can select the colors and styles to be used.
Each cell can have several conditional formats. For example, you might say that if a certain cell's value is between 10 and 30, the text should be bolded red on a yellow background.
5.) Catching Data Entry Errors
A workbook can be shared so that different peoples can access the same file at the same time. But it's a fact that shared workbooks generate more errors than workbooks with only one owner. Here's one way to flag errors as they occur:
· Select all cells in which data will be entered.
· From the Format menu, click Conditional Formatting.
· From the Conditional Formatting dialog box displayed, specify which cell values to flag.
· Click the Format button.
· From the Format Cells dialog box displayed, click the Patterns tab and select a color to signal errors.
· Click OK.
Now, when someone enters an error, it will be flagged with your selected color.
6.) How to Customize "division by 0" Error Messages?
Working in a complex worksheet, you may have encountered that annoying "#DIV/0!" error when the divisor of your formula is a zero. Using the IF function, you can create your own message for display when you divide by zero.
The IF function will be like this:
=IF (DIVISOR = 0,"Your Desired Text", DIVIDED/DIVISOR)
The IF function evaluates the first parameter (DIVISOR = 0). If it's TRUE, it displays the second parameter ("Your Desired Text") in the cell. If it's FALSE, the function displays the third parameter (DIVIDED/DIVISOR) in the cell.
7.) How to Ensure Proper Data Entry with Validation?
Data validation rules in Excel automatically check an entry made by a user against rules you have preset in the worksheet. This is helpful when you have formulas that depend on certain expected input from the user. These formulas can often return errors if the format of the entered data is wrong.
To set data validation rules, follow these steps:
· From the Data menu, click Validation.
· From the Data Validation dialog box displayed, click the Input Message tab.
· In the Input Message tab, insert the messages to display in the Title: and Input Message: boxes.
· Click OK.
This message will appear in a pop-up, note-style display. It can be used to provide users with information about what data you expect them to enter. You can also provide a message from the Error Alert tab if the data entered does not meet your rules.
8.) Link from Web Page to a Specific Worksheet Cell
Did you know that you can control which worksheet is displayed when you open a particular workbook in your Web browser. For example: http://www.msoffice-tutorial-training.com/test.xls#Sheet3!C2 will open your file called test.xls and then select cell C2 on Sheet3.
Using this kind of linking, you can specify exactly where you will enter the workbook. This can be helpful if you insert the link to a Web page that asks the user to enter data in a particular cell or area of a sheet. You can select the cell for them when they click the link.
9.) How to Express Yourself with Comments?
If you received a workbook and the formatting was a mess, and there were formulas everywhere. How do you feel if all those formatting and formulas are not properly explained?
It's time to get your users into the habit of documenting workbooks with comments. A cell with a comment is marked with a small red triangle in the upper-right corner. You can easily add a comment to a cell by clicking Insert menu, choose Comment.
Then enter the text descriptions into the cell. These descriptions are visible only if you hover the mouse over the cell.
Excel's Reviewing Toolbar facilitates working with the comments in a workbook. The options on this toolbar allow users to add and delete comments and move from one comment to another in a workbook.
10.) Few Clicks Clear Out All Excel Comments!
As handy as comments can be in annotating the information in a worksheet, you may sometimes want to delete them once they've served their purpose. The fastest way to handle this is:
· From the Edit menu, click Go To.
· Click the Special button and then select the Comments option.
· Click OK button.
· Go to the Edit menu again and point to Clear and to select Comments. Excel will delete all the comments and their text from the current worksheet.
11.) Several Users Work on the Same Workbook Together!
If you have several users who need to work from the same workbook at the same time, familiarize yourself with Excel's Shared Workbook feature. This feature can be a lifesaver when workbooks must be updated by multiple users.
You can set options that control when changes are updated and how to handle conflicting edits by different users. You can also choose to save updates when a user clicks Save, or you can specify a time interval for Excel to automatically save user updates.
To use this feature:
· From the Tools menu, click Share Workbook.
· From the Share Workbook dialog box displayed, in the Editing tab, check Allow changes by more than one user at the same time option.
· Click the Advanced tab and do the necessary settings.
You can decide how changes should be logged by the Track Changes feature, which integrates with workbook sharing. That way, you can see exactly what changes were made to cells, when sheets were added or deleted, how conflicting edits were resolved, etc. Users can also see the names of all the other users who have the workbook open for editing.
12.) Copying Styles from One Workbook to Another?
Formatting workbooks to your desired styles can really take time. So why should you waste time re-creating these styles in multiple workbooks? Just copy the style from one workbook to another:
· Open the source workbook and the destination workbook.
· Make sure that the destination workbook is active, go to the Format menu, and choose Style.
· From the Styles dialog box displayed, click the Merge button.
· From the Merge Styles dialog box displayed, select the source workbook from the Merge styles from: list box.
· Click OK twice.

Tricky Fun!!!!!!!!!!!!

If you are able to give Right answers:

< 2 = “Poor”
2-3 = “Ok”
4-5 = “Average“
6-7 = “Smart”
8-9 = “Genius”
10 = “Rajnikanth”

1) An airplane crashed into a field. Every single person in the aircraft died. But two people survived. How come?

2) A man and a son were driving home one rainy night. They had an accident. The father died on the spot. The people who were nearby took the son to the emergency room. The surgeon refused to operate on the boy, saying "I cannot operate on him, he's my son!" How is that possible?

3) What can you hold without ever touching or using your hands?

4) Can you guess the next three letters in the following series and why?C Y G T N T L I T F.........

5) First I threw away the outside and cooked the inside, then I ate the outside and threw away the inside, what did I eat?

6) The number 8,549,176,320 is a unique number. Can you tell what is so special about it?

7) A boy was at a carnival and went to a booth where a man said to the boy, "If I write your exact weight on this piece of paper then you have to give me $50, but if I cannot, I will pay you $50." The boy looked around and saw no scale so he agrees, thinking no matter what the carny writes he'll just say he weighs more or less. But still in the end the boy ended up paying the man $50. How did the man win the bet?

8) After teaching his class all about roman numerals (X = 10, IX=9 and so on) the teacher asked his class to draw a single continuous line and turn IX into 6. The only stipulation the teacher made was that the pen could not be lifted from the paper until the line was complete.

9) What row of numbers comes next in this series?11121121111122131221113112221

10) While exploring the wild highlands of Ireland, Robert was captured by goblins. Grumpy, the chief of the goblins told him he was allowed one final statement on which would hinge how he would die. If the statement he made was false, he would be boiled in water. If the statement were true, he would be fried in oil. Sine Robert did not like either option, so he made a statement that forced the goblins to release him. What is the one statement he could make to save himself?

Answers Below


1) Because they were married!!!

2) Because, the surgeon was her MOTHER!!

3) Your Breath

4) S, A and W, the first letter of every word in the sentence.

5) A Corn

6) This is the Only number which includes all digits arranged in alphabetically.

7) The man did exactly as he said he would and wrote 'your exact weight' on the paper.

8) Draw an S in front of the IX and it spells SIX. No one said the line had to be straight.

9) 1113213211 After the first line, each line describes the previous line:One OneTwo OnesOne Two, One One(and so on...)

10) Robert said: "You will boil me in water." The goblins were faced with a dilemma. If they boil him in water, that would make his statement true, which means he should have been fried in oil. They can only fry him in oil if he makes a true statement, but if they do, it would make his final statement false. The fairies had no way our of their situation so they were forced to set Robert free.

PC Lock (Using Mouse)

Interesting try it out. As we all are getting lazier day by day, this mail promotes laziness to the core! Generally we have problems in pressing Alt+Ctrl+Del or Windows+L to lock our PCs; hence it would be better if we could do that by the click of a mouse. Here's how to do it :
1. Right click an empty spot on the desktop, point to New and click Shortcut.
2. In the Create Shortcut dialog box, copy the following into the 'Type the location' of the item text box: "rundll32 user32.dll,LockWorkStation" remove quotes while typing.
3. Click Next.
4. In "Type a name for this shortcut", type LOCK and Click Finish5. Now just double click on the icon, your desktop will be locked. Be lazy..…Think crazy….


*3 NICE Stories*
*1. Once, all villagers decided to pray for rain, on the day of prayer allpeople gathered and only one boy came with an umbrella. **THATS FAITH.***
*2. Example of the feeling of a one year old baby. When you throw him intheair, he laughs because he knows you will catch him. **THATS TRUST.***
*3. Every night we go to bed, we have no assurance to wake up alive the nextmorning but still we have plans for tomorrow. **THATS HOPE. ***

Tips to cope with stress at work

* When you have work for long hours, take short breaks of 10 minutes every two hours. Get out of your seat, drink water, tea or juice, but avoid snacks unless you have missed a meal.
* Obey your body’s natural call on time.* Whenever you pass by your colleagues, present a pleasant face if not a smile.
* When dealing with difficult situations in the workplace, remember that it is your bread and butter and soldier on.
* Find something about your job that you love and let it help you reduce your fatigue and any negative attitudes toward your job.
* Keep a positive outlook on life.
* Try to adjust with your colleagues rather than wish they would change.
* Do your duties for your own satisfaction and fulfillment — not for appreciation, which you may or may not get.* Try to keep a good interpersonal relationship with colleagues.
* A good friend at the workplace is a blessing — try to find one.* Maintain a balance between your professional and personal life.
* Enjoy vacations — never avoid any opportunity to unwind.
* Keep a daily routine and give yourself ‘me time’, which you could spend doing things that make you happy.
* Sincere self-evaluation and self-perception will boost your confidence.
* Do a minimum of one hour’s exercise on alternate days, to keep fit. Eat healthy food.
* Breathing exercises will provide good relief from stress.
* In case a problem arises, personal or professional, sincere conversations with a friend will give insight and relief.
* Art of constructive communication and dignified compromise will solve normal interpersonal issues.
* If all else fails, get professional help. It will save you time and health.

A meaningful message !!

A wise man once sat in the audience & cracked a joke. All laughed like crazy. After a moment he cracked the same joke again and a little less people laughed this time. He cracked the same joke again & again, when there was no laughter in the crowd, he smiled and said, "When u can't laugh on the same joke again & again, then why do u keep crying over the same thing over and over again”

' Learn to move on'…

confusions of the world class names

Caller: Hello, can I speak to Annie Wan?
Operator: Yes, you can speak to me. Caller: No, I want to speak to Annie Wan!
Operator: Yes I understand you want to speak to anyone. You can speak to me. Who is this? Caller: I'm Sam Wan. And I need to talk to Annie Wan! It's urgent.
Operator: I know you are someone and you want to talk to anyone! But what's this urgent matter about?
Caller: Well... just tell my sister Annie Wan that our brother Noe Wan was involved in an accident. Noe Wan got injured and now Noe Wan is being sent to the hospital. Right now, Avery Wan is on his way to the hospital.
Operator: Look, if no one was injured and no one was sent to the hospital, then the accident isn't an urgent matter! You may find this hilarious but I don't have time for this!
Caller: You are so rude! Who are you?
Operator: I'm Saw Ree.
Caller: Yes! You should be sorry. Now give me your name!! Operator: That's what I said. I'm Saw Ree

Lines to live by...

1- Prayer is not a "Spare Wheel" that you pull out when in trouble, but it is a "Steering Wheel" that directs the right path throughout.2- Do you know why a car's windshield is so large & the rearview mirror is so small? Because our PASTis not as important as your FUTURE. Look Ahead and Move on.3- Friendship is like a Book. It takes years to write but few seconds to burn. 4- All things in life are Temporary. If going well, enjoy it, they will not last forever. If going wrong, don't worry, they can't last long either. 5- Old Friends are Gold! New Friends are Diamond! If you get a Diamond, don't forget the Gold! Because to hold a Diamond, you always need a Base of Gold! 6- Often when we lose hope and think this is the end, God smiles from above and says, "Relax, it's just a bend, not the end!7- When GOD solves your problems, you have faith in His abilities. When GOD doesn't solve your problems He has faith in your abilities.8- A blind man asked a wise person: "Can there be anything worse than losing eyesight?" He replied: "Yes, losing your vision!"9- When you pray for others, GOD listens to you and blesses them,and sometimes, when you are safe and happy, remember that someone has prayed for you.10- WORRYING does not take away tomorrows' TROUBLES; it takes away today's PEACE

Valuable Information..................... about Water

Correct timing to drink water, will maximize its effectiveness on the Human body. Two (02) glass of water - After waking up - Helps activate internal organs One (01) glasses of water - 30 minutes before meal - Help digestion One (01) glass of water - Before taking a bath - Helps lower blood pressure One (01) glass of water - Before sleep - To avoid stroke or heart attack
By Dr. Willie T. Ong Our bodies are made up of mostly water. Just look at the facts: The brain contains 74% water, blood contains 83% water, lean muscle has 75% and bone has 22% water. Experts agree that water is one of the most powerful forms of treatment. So how come most people don't drink enough water?
10 Health Benefits of Water: 1. Water prevents kidney stones. The most common cause of kidney stones is not drinking enough water. Since water dissolves the substances that form stones in the urine, drinking 12 glasses daily helps treat kidney stones. 2. Water treats urinary tract infection. The more water you drink, the more you will urinate. "Drinking lots of water will help flush out harmful bacteria from your bladder," says Medical City kidney specialist Dr. Roberto Tanchanco. 3. Water helps patients with diarrhea by preventing dehydration. As a first-aid for diarrhea, you can make your own oral rehydration solution at home. Mix a glass of water with 2 teaspoons sugar and ¼ teaspoon salt, and drink as much as you can tolerate. This is similar to the dextrose solution in the hospital. 4. Water helps reduce fever. For symptoms of flu, water can help lower your body temperature when you urinate the "heat" out of your body. If you're sick, drink more water for you to recover faster. 5. Water helps treat cough and colds, sore throat, and respiratory infections. Water helps loosen sticky phlegm. A respected lung specialist told me that some mucolytics out there are just as beneficial as drinking lots of water. 6. Water reduces heartburn. Taking 2-3 gulps of water every 20 minutes or so can help flush the stomach acid away. Bananas and water are effective alternatives to taking antacids. Try it. 7. Water prevents constipation and its complications. Too little water can harden the stools and lead to hemorrhoids and diverticulosis, a disease of the large bowel. Drink water and eat lots of vegetables to soften your stools. 8. Water keeps you alert and energetic. If you're dehydrated, your blood is literally thicker. This makes it harder for the blood to circulate. As a result, the brain can become less active and you can feel confused and fatigued. Some studies also show that water may help cure migraine headaches. 9. Water helps reduce weight. By drinking a glass or two of water before a meal, you will lessen the amount of food you can take in order to feel full. Water has zero calories and will not make you fat. 10. Water keeps your skin soft and radiant. Just as a dehydrated person will have deep-set eyes and wrinkled skin, so will a fully hydrated person exhibit a normal and beautiful skin tone. The Proper Way To Drink Water: 1. Drink water when you wake up. Your body loses water while you sleep, so drink a glass before you go to sleep, and another glass when you wake up. You are naturally thirsty or dehydrated in the morning. Drinking water in the morning helps flush out the toxins that have accumulated all night. 2. Drink 8 to 12 glasses a day. According to the Mayo Clinic, a 120-pound individual needs 8 cups of water a day, while a 190-pound person would require 12 cups daily. Dr. Robert Tanchanco says that we should monitor our urine color and keep it on the light side. However, drink only a maximum of 16 glasses a day, and not more. 3. Drink little by little throughout the day. It is preferable to sip water throughout the day rather than to drink two glasses all at once. This will lessen the stress on the heart (especially if you have heart disease) and give your body more time to absorb it. 4. Don't wait until you're thirsty to drink water. By the time you feel thirsty, you're probably already 2 glasses below your normal water needs. Elderly people are also less sensitive to the body's need for water. 5. Drink water, not soft drinks, alcohol or coffee. Some experts believe that tea, sodas and coffee can be potentially dehydrating. Moreover, the high phosphorus and sugar content in cola drinks can lead to conditions like osteoporosis and diabetes. One study shows that adults who drank six cups of coffee daily experienced mild dehydration. Drinking alcohol is much worse because it actually dehydrates you by making you urinate a lot. 6. Train children to drink water. Set a good example to your kids and drink water together. Make sure that children drink enough water when they're active. Pack a large bottled water in their lunch box. 7. Drink more when it's hot. People living in hot climates like the Philippines need to drink more water. They are more prone to develop kidney stones compared to those living in cooler regions. 8. Drink more as you exercise. When you exercise, you need to drink more water to compensate for fluid loss. Go for an extra 500 ml of water for a 30-minute to 1-hour exercise. Eating a banana also helps keep your potassium up. 9. Drink more when you're sick. Even though you don't feel like it, you really need to drink more water to help your body recover from various infections. If you're dehydrated, you'll feel much worse. 10. Drink more if you're pregnant. Women who are expecting or breast-feeding need additional fluids to stay hydrated. The Institute of Medicine recommends that pregnant women drink 10 cups of fluids daily and women who breast-feed take in about 13 cups of fluids a day.

Never Miss The First Opportunity

A young man wished to marry the farmer's beautiful daughter. He went to the farmer to ask his permission. The farmer looked him over and said,"Son, go stand out in that field. I'm going to release three bulls, one at a time. If you can catch the tail of any one of the three bulls, you can marry my daughter."The young man stood in the pasture awaiting the first bull.The barn door opened and out ran the biggest, meanest-looking bull he had ever seen. He decided that one of the next bulls had to be a better choice than this one, so he ran over to the side and let the bull pass through the pasture out the back gate.The barn door opened again. Unbelievable. He had never seen anything so big and fierce in his life. It stood pawing the ground, grunting, slinging slobber as it eyed him. Whatever the next bull was like, it had to be a better choice than this one. He ran to the fence and let the bull pass through the pasture, out the back gate.The door opened a third time. A smile came across his face. This was the weakest, scrawniest little bull he had ever seen. This one was his bull. As the bull came running by, he positioned himself just right and jumped at just the exact moment. He grabbed... but the bull had no tail!Life is full of opportunities. Some will be easy to take advantage of, some will be difficult. But once we let them pass (often in hopes of something better), those opportunities may never again be available.So always grab the first opportunity.


A successful business man was growing old and knew it was time to choose a successor to take over the business. Instead of choosing one of his Directors or his children, he decided to do something different. He called all the young executives in his company together. He said, "It is time for me to step down and choose the next CEO. I have decided to choose one of you. "The young executives were shocked, but the boss continued. "I am going to give each one of you a SEED today - one very special SEED. I want you to plant the seed, water it, and come back here one year from today with what you have grown from the seed I have given you. I will then judge the plants that you bring, and the one I choose will be the next CEO."

One man, named Jim, was there that day and he, like the others, received a seed. He went home and excitedly, told his wife the story. She helped him get a pot, soil and compost and he planted the seed. Everyday, he would water it and watch to see if it had grown. After about three weeks, some of the other executives began to talk about their seeds and the plants that were beginning to grow. Jim kept checking his seed, but nothing ever grew.
Three weeks, four weeks, five weeks went by, still nothing. By now, others were talking about their plants, but Jim didn't have a plant and he felt like a failure. Six months went by -- still nothing in Jim's pot. He just knew he had killed his seed. Everyone else had trees and tall plants, but he had nothing. Jim didn't say anything to his colleagues, however, he just kept watering and fertilizing the soil - He so wanted the seed to grow. A year finally went by and all the young executives of the company brought their plants to the CEO for inspection.

Jim told his wife that he wasn't going to take an empty pot. But she asked him to be honest about what happened. Jim felt sick to his stomach, it was going to be the most embarrassing moment of his life, but he knew his wife was right. He took his empty pot to the board room. When Jim arrived, he was amazed at the variety of plants grown by the other executives. They were beautiful -- in all shapes and sizes. Jim put his empty pot on the floor and many of his colleagues laughed, a few felt sorry for him!

When the CEO arrived, he surveyed the room and greeted his young executives.
Jim just tried to hide in the back. "Wow! what great plants, trees and flowers you have grown," said the CEO. "Today one of you will be appointed the next CEO!" All of a sudden, the CEO spotted Jim at the back of the room with his empty pot. He ordered the Financial Director to bring him to the front. Jim was terrified. He thought, "The CEO knows I'm a failure! Maybe he will have me fired!" When Jim got to the front, the CEO asked him what had happened to his seed - Jim told him the story.

The CEO asked everyone to sit down except Jim. He looked at Jim, and then announced to the young executives, "Behold your next Chief Executive Officer! His name is Jim!" Jim couldn't believe it. Jim couldn't even grow his seed. "How could he be the new CEO?" the others said.

Then the CEO said, "One year ago today, I gave everyone in this room a seed.
I told you to take the seed, plant it, water it, and bring it back to me today. But I gave you all boiled seeds; they were dead - it was not possible for them to grow. All of you, except Jim, have brought me trees and plants and flowers. When you found that the seed would not grow, you substituted another seed for the one I gave you. Jim was the only one with the courage and honesty to bring me a pot with my seed in it. Therefore, he is the one who will be the new Chief Executive Officer!"

* If you plant honesty, you will reap trust.
* If you plant goodness, you will reap friends.
* If you plant humility, you will reap greatness.
* If you plant perseverance, you will reap contentment.
* If you plant consideration, you will reap perspective.
* If you plant hard work, you will reap success.
* If you plant forgiveness, you will reap reconciliation.

So, be careful what you plant now; it will determine what you will reap later.

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

10 Deadly Signs of Negative Thinking..

The way to overcome negative thoughts and destructive emotions is to develop opposing, positive emotions that are stronger and more powerful. - Quoted

Life could be so much better for many people, if they would just spot their negative thinking habits and replace them with positive ones.

Negative thinking, in all its many-splendored forms, has a way of creeping into conversations and our thinking without our noticing them. The key to success, in my humble opinion, is learning to spot these thoughts and squash them like little bugs. Then replace them with positive ones. You'll notice a huge difference in everything you do.

Let's take a look at 10 common ways that negative thinking emerges get good at spotting these patterns, and practice replacing them with positive thinking patterns. It has made all the difference in the world for me.

10 Deadly Signs of Negative Thinking...

1. I will be happy once I have _____ (or once I earn X).

Problem: If you think you can't be happy until you reach a certain point, or until you reach a certain income, or have a certain type of house or car or computer setup, you'll never be happy. That elusive goal is always just out of reach. Once we reach those goals, we are not satisfied we want more.

Solution: Learn to be happy with what you have, where you are, and who you are, right at this moment. Happiness doesn't have to be some state that we want to get to eventually it can be found right now. Learn to count your blessings, and see the positive in your situation. This might sound simplistic, but it works.

2. I wish I were as ____ as (a celebrity, friend, co-worker).

Problem: We'll never be as pretty, as talented, as rich, as sculpted, as cool, as everyone else. There will always be someone better, if you look hard enough. Therefore, if we compare ourselves to others like this, we will always pale, and will always fail, and will always feel bad about ourselves. This is no way to be happy.

Solution: Stop comparing yourself to others, and look instead at yourself what are your strengths, your accomplishments, your successes, however small? What do you love about yourself? Learn to love who you are, right now, not who you want to become. There is good in each of us, love in each of us, and a wonderful human spirit in every one of us.

3. Seeing others becoming successful makes me jealous and resentful.

Problem: First, this assumes that only a small number of people can be successful. In truth, many, many people can be successful in different ways.

Solution: Learn to admire the success of others, and learn from it, and be happy for them, by empathizing with them and understanding what it must be like to be them. And then turn away from them, and look at yourself you can be successful too, in whatever you choose to do. And even more, you already are successful. Look not at those above you in the social ladder, but those below you there are always millions of people worse off than you, people who couldn't even read this article or afford a computer. In that light, you are a huge success.

4. I am a miserable failure I can't seem to do anything right.

Problem: Everyone is a failure, if you look at it in certain ways. Everyone has failed, many times, at different things. I have certainly failed so many times I cannot count them and I continue to fail, daily. However, looking at your failures as failures only makes you feel bad about yourself. By thinking in this way, we will have a negative self-image and never move on from here.

Solution: See your successes and ignore your failures. Look back on your life, in the last month, or year, or 5 years. And try to remember your successes. If you have trouble with this, start documenting them keep a success journal, either in a notebook or online. Document your success each day, or each week. When you look back at what you've accomplished, over a year, you will be amazed. It's an incredibly positive feeling.

5. I'm going to beat so-and-so no matter what I'm better than him. And there's no way I'll help him succeed he might beat me.

Problem: Competitiveness assumes that there is a small amount of gold to be had, and I need to get it before he does. It makes us into greedy, back-stabbing, hurtful people. We try to claw our way over people to get to success, because of our competitive feelings. For example, if a blogger wants to have more subscribers than another blogger, he may never link to or mention that other blogger. However, who is to say that my subscribers can't also be yours? People can read and subscribe to more than one blog.

Solution: Learn to see success as something that can be shared, and learn that if we help each other out, we can each have a better chance to be successful. Two people working towards a common goal are better than two people trying to beat each other up to get to that goal. There is more than enough success to go around. Learn to think in terms of abundance rather than scarcity.

6. Dammit! Why do these bad things always happen to me?

Problem: Bad things happen to everybody. If we dwell on them, they will frustrate us and bring us down.

Solution: See bad things as a part of the ebb and flow of life. Suffering is a part of the human condition but it passes. All pain goes away, eventually. Meanwhile, don't let it hold you back. Don't dwell on bad things, but look forward towards something good in your future. And learn to take the bad things in stride, and learn from them. Bad things are actually opportunities to grow and learn and get stronger, in disguise.

7. You can't do anything right! Why can't you be like ____ ?

Problem: This can be said to your child or your subordinate or your sibling. The problem? Comparing two people, first of all, is always a fallacy. People are different, with different ways of doing things, different strengths and weaknesses, different human characteristics. If we were all the same, we'd be robots. Second, saying negative things like this to another person never helps the situation. It might make you feel better, and more powerful, but in truth, it hurts your relationship, it will actually make you feel negative, and it will certainly make the other person feel negative and more likely to continue negative behavior. Everyone loses.

Solution: Take the mistakes or bad behavior of others as an opportunity to teach. Show them how to do something. Second, praise them for their positive behavior, and encourage their success. Last, and most important, love them for who they are, and celebrate their differences.

8. Your work sucks. It's super lame. You are a moron and I hope you never reproduce.

Problem: I've actually gotten this comment before. It feels wonderful. However, let's look at it not from the perspective of the person receiving this kind of comment but from the perspective of the person giving it. How does saying something negative like this help you? I guess it might feel good to vent if you feel like your time has been wasted. But really, how much of your time has been wasted? A few minutes? And whose fault is that? The bloggers or yours? In truth, making negative comments just keeps you in a negative mindset. It's also not a good way to make friends.

Solution: Learn to offer constructive solutions, first of all. Instead of telling someone their blog sucks, or that a post is lame, offer some specific suggestions for improvement. Help them get better. If you are going to take the time to make a comment, make it worth your time. Second, learn to interact with people in a more positive way it makes others feel good and it makes you feel better about yourself. And you can make some great friends this way. That's a good thing.

9. Insulting People Back

Problem: If someone insults you or angers you in some way, insulting them back and continuing your anger only transfers their problem to you. This person was probably having a bad day (or a bad year) and took it out on you for some reason. If you reciprocate, you are now having a bad day too. His problem has become yours. Not only that, but the cycle of insults can get worse and worse until it results in violence or other negative consequences for both of you.

Solution: Let the insults or negative comments of others slide off you like Teflon. Don't let their problem become yours. In fact, try to understand their problem more why would someone say something like that? What problems are they going through? Having a little empathy for someone not only makes you understand that their comment is not about you, but it can make you feel and act in a positive manner towards them and make you feel better about yourself in the process.

10. I don't think I can do this I don't have enough discipline. Maybe some other time.

Problem: If you don't think you can do something, you probably won't. Especially for the big stuff. Discipline has nothing to do with it motivation and focus has everything to do with it. And if you put stuff off for “some other time”, you'll never get it done. Negative thinking like this inhibits us from accomplishing anything.

Solution: Turn your thinking around: you can do this! You don't need discipline. Find ways to make yourself a success at your goal. If you fail, learn from your mistakes, and try again. Instead of putting a goal off for later, start now. And focus on one goal at a time, putting all of your energy into it, and getting as much help from others as you can. You can really move mountains if you start with positive thinking.

Management lessons

Ignore the expletives involved.

Lesson Number One
A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day.
A small rabbit saw the crow, and asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do nothing all day long?"
The crow answered "Sure, why not."
So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow, and rested.
All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

Management Lesson:
To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.

Lesson Number Two
A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree," sighed the turkey, "but I haven't got the energy."
"Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the bull. "They're packed with nutrients."
The turkey pecked at a lump of dung and found that it actually gave him enough strength to reach the first branch of the tree.
The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch.
Finally after a fortnight, there he was proudly perched at the top of the tree. Soon he was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot the turkey out of the tree.

Management Lesson:
Bullshit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.

Lesson Number Three
A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold, the bird froze and fell to the ground in a large field.
While it was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on it. As the f rozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, it began to realize how warm it was.
The dung was actually thawing him out! He lay there all warm and happy and soon began to sing for joy.
A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate.
Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung and promptly dug him out and ate him!

Management Lessons:
1) Not everyone who drops shit on you is your enemy.
2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend.
3) And when you're in deep shit, keep your mouth shut!

Once upon a time ............

Once upon a time leadership mattered, now dealership rules the world.

Once upon a time quality was craftsman's pride, now it is a departmental mess.

Once upon a time mouse was an untouchable mammal, now it is handheld pest.

Once upon a time wisdom was cultivated by wise people, now it is flashed on T-shirts.

Once upon a time teacher tought and students learnt, now teacher trade and students consume.

Once upon a time population was a problem, now it is a flourishing mass market.

Once upon a time competition brought out the best, now it brings out the worst in people.

Once upon a time there was a golden rule, now if you have gold, you rule.

Once upon a time truth telling was good for your soul, now it is bad for promotion.

Once upon a time success meant living by ideals, now it is about using above all principles.

Once upon a time beauty was in the eye of the beholder, now it is booming business.

Once upon a time the government was clean and sex was dirty, now one doesn't know.

Tax : TAX is a fine, which is applicable on legal work.

Fine : FINE is a tax, which is applicable on illegal work

Even God has a Sense of Humour!!

God was in the process of creating the universe.
And he was explaining to his subordinates "Look everything should be in balance. For example, after every 10 deer there should be a lion.

Look here my fellow angels; here is the country of the United States.
I have blessed them with prosperity and money.
But at the same time I have given them insecurity and tension....

And here is Africa. I have given them beautiful nature.
But at the same time, I have given them climatic extremes.

And here is South America. I have given them lots of forests.
But at the same time, I have given them lesser land so that they would have to cut off the forests...
So you see fellows, everything should be in balance.

One of the angels asked...
"God, what is this extremely beautiful country here?"

God said....... "Ahah...that is the crown piece of all. "INDIA",
My most precious creation.
It has understanding and friendly People.
Sparkling streams and serene mountains.
A culture which speaks of the great tradition that they live.
Technologically brilliant and with a heart of gold.....

The angel was quite surprised:
"But god you said everything should be in balance."

God replied -- "Look at the neighbors I gave them."

Decision Making

Please read it as it show's our very own Profesional Life.

A group of children were playing near two railway tracks, one still in use while the other disused. Only one child played on the disused track, the rest on the operational track.

The train is coming, and you are just beside the track interchange. You can make the train change its course to the disused track and save most of the kids. However, that would also mean the lone child playing by the disused track would be sacrificed. Or would you rather let the train go its way?

Let's take a pause to think what kind of decision we could make................


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Most people might choose to divert the course of the train, and sacrifice only one child. You might think the same way, I guess. Exactly, I thought the same way initially because to save most of the children at the expense of only one child was rational decision most people would make, morally and emotionally. But, have you ever thought that the child choosing to play on the disused track had in fact made the right decision to play at a safe place?

Nevertheless, he had to be sacrificed because of his ignorant friends who chose to play where the danger was. This kind of dilemma happens around us everyday. In the office, community, in politics and especially in a democratic society, the minority is often sacrificed for the interest of the majority, no matter how foolish or ignorant the majority are, and how farsighted and knowledgeable the minority are. The child who chose not to play with the rest on the operational track was sidelined. And in the case he was sacrificed, no one would shed a tear for him.

The great critic Leo Velski Julian who told the story said he would not try to change the course of the train because he believed that the kids playing on the operational track should have known very well that track was still in use, and that they should have run away if they heard the train's sirens. If the train was diverted, that lone child would definitely die because he never thought the train could come over to that track! Moreover, that track was not in use probably because it was not safe. If the train was diverted to the track, we could put the lives of all passengers on board at stake! And in your attempt to save a few kids by sacrificing one child, you might end up sacrificing hundreds of people to save these few kids.

While we are all aware that life is full of tough decisions that need to be made, we may not realize that hasty decisions may not always be the right one.

"Remember that what's right isn't always popular... and what's popular isn't always right."

Everybody makes mistakes; that's why they put erasers on pencils.

Appearance of happiness and distress in one's life is similar to upward and downward movement of the wheel. One who neither gets excited by arrival of happiness nor feel dejected by arrival of sorrow can live peacefully

Freedom of Choice Starts from Jan 20th across India

Freedom of Choice Starts @ Just Rs 19 across India

Starting Jan 20th 2011

Wednesday, January 5, 2011

Why do we shout in anger***

A saint asked his disciples, 'Why do we shout in anger? Why do people
shout at each other when they are upset?'

Disciples thought for a while, one of them said, 'Because we lose our
calm, we shout for that.'
'But, why to shout when the other person is just next to you?' asked the
saint. 'Isn't it possible to speak to him or her with a soft voice? Why do
you shout at a person when you're angry?'
Disciples gave some other answers but none satisfied the saint.
Finally he explained, 'When two people are angry at each other, their
hearts distance a lot. To cover that distance they must shout to be able
to hear each other. The angrier they are, the stronger they will have to
shout to hear each other through that great distance.'
Then the saint asked, 'What happens when two people fall in love? They
don't shout at each other but talk softly, why? Because their hearts are
very close. The distance between them is very small...'
The saint continued, 'When they love each other even more, what happens?
They do not speak, only whisper and they get even closer to each other in
their love. Finally they even need not whisper, they only look at each
other and that's all. That is how close two people are when they love each

MORAL: When you argue do not let your hearts get distant, do not say words
that distance each other more, else there will come a day when the
distance is so great that you will not find the path to return.

Apologizing Good one***

"Apologizing does not mean that you are wrong and the other person is right...
It simply means that you value the relationship much more than your ego...


I told GOD: Let all my friends be healthy and happy forever...!

said: But for 4 days only....!

I said: Yes, let them be a Spring Day, Summer Day, Autumn Day, and Winter Day.

said: 3 days.

I said: Yes, Yesterday, Today and Tomorrow.

said: No, 2 days!

I said: Yes, a Bright Day (Daytime) and Dark Day (Night-time).

said: No, just 1 day!

I said: Yes!

asked: Which day?

I said: Every Day in the living years of all my friends!

laughed, and said: All your friends will be healthy and happy Every Day!

Send this to your friends and bless them with good health and happiness...

Pass on the warmth despite the ever-changing weather...

P.S. GOD said Good friends must keep in contact!

Morning Motivation !

Morning Motivation

When I
woke up this morning lying in bed,
I was
asking myself;
are some of the secrets of success in life?
I found
the answer right there,
in my very room.


New tax code to make you richer by up to Rs 41,040! (India)

The Direct Tax Code Bill, which was tabled in the Lok Sabha on Monday, has been delayed by a year. The Bill will now come into effect from April 1, 2012.


The Bill proposes to raise the exemption limit on income tax from the current Rs 160,000 to Rs 200,000. Introduced by Finance Minister Pranab Mukherjee, the Bill seeks to widen income tax slabs to levy 10 per cent rate on income between Rs 200,000 and Rs 500,000, 20 per cent on between Rs 500,000-10 lakh and 30 per cent above Rs 10 lakh (Rs 1 million).

For senior citizens, tax exemption is sought to be raised to Rs 250,000 from Rs 240,000. Currently, income between Rs 160,000 and Rs 500,000 attracts 10 per cent tax; between Rs 500,000 and Rs 800,000, 20 per cent and beyond Rs 800,000, 30 per cent.

Savings of up to Rs 41,040!

People earning more than Rs 10 lakh a year may save up to Rs 41,040 in income tax, if slabs proposed by the Direct Taxes Code Bill come into effect, experts said.

Similarly, tax burden would reduce by Rs 21,540 for those earning annual income between Rs 5 lakh (Rs 500,000) and Rs 10 lakh (Rs 1 million), while those making Rs 2 lakh (Rs 200,000) to 5 lakh could be richer by Rs 7,660, Deloitte Haskins & Sells partner Neeru Ahuja said.

According to the bill presented in the Lok Sabha on Monday, income from Rs 2-5 lakh is likely to attract tax rate of 10 per cent; 20 per cent in the Rs 5-10 lakh bracket and 30 per cent above Rs 10 lakh.

At present, income between Rs 1.60 lakh (Rs 160,000) and Rs 5 lakh attracts 10 per cent tax, while the rate is 20 per cent for the Rs 5 lakh to Rs 8 lakh (Rs 800,000) bracket and 30 per cent for above Rs 8 lakh.

The Bill proposes to raise income tax exemption limit to Rs 2 lakh from the current Rs 1.60 lakh.

Annual income

Taxpayer below 65 years

Senior Citizens 65 years & above

Rs 500,000


Rs 22,600

Rs 14,420


Rs 15,000

Rs 10,000


Rs 7,660

Rs 4,420

Rs 10,00,000


Rs 121, 540

Rs 113,300


Rs 100,000

Rs 95,000


Rs 21,540

Rs 18,300

Rs 15,00,000


Rs 276,040

Rs 267,800


Rs 235,000

Rs 230,000


Rs 41,040

Rs 37,800

"For the individuals, DTC tax slabs are certainly beneficial. Their tax liabilities will go down," DSK Legal partner Balbir Singh Mastan said.

For senior citizens, exemption limit is proposed to be raised to Rs 2.5 lakh (Rs 250,000) from Rs 2.40 lakh (Rs 240,000).

Individuals over 65 years, or senior citizens, could see tax burden lessen by Rs 4,420, if they earn Rs 5 lakh a year, while those earning Rs 10 lakh will save Rs 18,300 tax.

Senior citizens earning Rs 15 lakh (Rs 1.5 million) annually could save Rs 37,800 in case the Bill is enacted.

The proposed tax slabs are much lower than originally suggested in the draft DTC Bill -- 10 per cent for Rs 160,000 to Rs 10 lakh, 20 per cent between Rs 10-25 lakh (Rs 1-2.5 million) and 30 per cent for income above Rs 30 lakh (Rs 3 million).

The Bill seeks to fix corporate tax at the current 30 per cent but without surcharge and cess. With surcharge and cess, the current tax liability on corporates comes to over 33 per cent.

The legislation also proposes to increase MAT from 18 per cent to 20 per cent of book profit of a company. It seeks to levy dividend distribution tax at 15 per cent.

Income on non-profit organisations, exceeding Rs 100,000, is proposed to be taxed at 15 per cent.

When enacted, DTC will replace archaic Income Tax Act.

Words on Marriage (A GOOD LAUGH......)

When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.
David Bissonette

After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together.

Sacha Guitry

By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.


Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them.


The great question.... which I have not been able to answer... is, "What does a woman want?"

I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.
Sigmund Freud

'Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.'

'There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage.'
Sam Kinison

Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming
1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it,
2. Whenever you're right, shut up.

Patrick Murra

The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once....

You know what I did before I married?
Anything I wanted to.

My wife and I were happy for twenty years.
Then we met.
Henny Youngman

A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.
Rodney Dangerfield

A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: 'Wife wanted'. Next day he received a hundred letters.
They all said the same thing: 'You can have mine.'

First Guy (proudly): 'My wife's an angel!'
Second Guy: 'You're lucky, mine's still alive.'


Worlds Updates

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